Sleep Paralysis

 One article I read about sleep paralysis says the could partly be brought on by stress or sleep deprivation. I did read some stories of others, and I am just glad that my episodes are not as scary or involved as theirs. In fact, I am not sure that I can clasify my sleep experience as sleep paralysis based on the stories of others, but when I read the science of it, then I think it may be similar if not it.  Just a place between awake and REM.

Sleeping has never been something I am good at.  I have always thought for me it is a "learned" behavior.  Within the last year I have started having night jerks.  As I am drifting asleep, my body misinterprets the signal of falling asleep as "falling" so my body reacts and jerks.  I go through this most nights and the vary from few to many, small to huge.  To add to that I now have those wonderful "hot flashes" that plague me throughout the night.  No matter how I try to not respond to the flashes, I have to get the covers off of me as quickly as I can.  I fall back asleep then wake up cold and pull the covers back on.

Today I wasn't feeling very well and had to go lay down.  I have not slept well at all the last few nights so I figured I just needed some sleep.  I went and laid down and before I knew it, it began.

I would begin dreaming.  I was me, in bed, then episodes would begin, the dreaming began, the paralysis began.  I was there, as I was, but the events around me weren't real and I knew it.  My mind was dreaming, yet I was conscience enough to know it wasn't real and I couldn't move.  I was able to wake my self up, but the tiredness sucked me back in over and over again.  I would be laying there in bed, while someone came to visit, dad would come and talk to me, bring me the mail, the friend would lay down with me, etc.  I couldn't move and my mind knew it was not real.  While it doesn't seem scary, it was.  Now this was different than most times because they are usually not dream friendly.

The first time I remember experiencing this was when I was young.  At these times I always thought there "were" demons around me.  Later, in life the scary part was more that I couldn't move.  The dream around these times are not as memorable, but I can say that I really would be okay if I never had another dream paralysis.  I am just glad I was able to wake myself up during these last times.  I would like to have gone back to sleep but the fear you have just wants it to end and I could tell my body was not relaxing and was fighting against the episodes.

I hope I can sleep tonight.  :)